This week was a good week! It was hard and I learned a lot about myself. I also had a big change of heart and my purpose as a missionary has changed :)
This week we didn't have changes... well we had changes but my companion and I are staying together. It will be really interesting because it is his last month and a half as a missionary and after the change will finish his mission and go home. This will be interesting because I will have to keep him a little bit in line because he is starting to get trunky (ready to go home and thinking about home a lot). It also means that I will get a lot of his stuff that he leaves behind, Woohoo! ;) The last thing it means is that I am guaranteed to have a new companion next change. I hope to be training a brand new missionary because that would be super awesome.
This week was hard for a couple reasons. We didn't have any progressing investigators, which means that we don't really have anyone who seems like they are moving towards baptism. It was hard because I am a full blown missionary now, so my responsibilities have increased, again forcing me out of my comfort zone. Finally it was hard because everyone seems to be going through hard times and as missionaries they tell their problems to us looking for help. I love to help them but I felt super weighed down because of the sorrow and problems they were having.
Because it was a tough week I was forced to do alot of things which I wouldn't have done if I was comfortable, forced me to use and rely on the spirit more, and most of all made me change. This week I changed because I really learned what it means to love other people, not just say I love them, or superficially hope things go well for them, but to truly love them. I changed my desire for my mission, no longer am I here just to do my Duty to God, or to "Give my two years", I am here to help people change their lives or improve their lives by coming to Christ and repenting and guiding them to the path where the blessings await them. This change came on a Wednesday.
Wednesday was the hardest day of the week. I was having a small pity party for myself because I was scared of my new responsibilities and I felt inadequate to do them. It was also a day when we found out about alot of troubles people were having. We got to a lesson with a member and were talking with them. We learned of the problems coming from the choices that some of them made, the problems coming from other people (members included), and problems from sins or bad doings of other people. I just wanted to cry out "WHY IS THE WORLD SO HARD AND BAD!" In this moment I understood the prophets of the book of Mormon who felt sorrow for the sins of their people and the decisions to go astray and the suffering that it caused other people! In that instant I felt my desire to help everyone avoid those problems, sufferings, and grief and received the desire to change all of that.
This week I have changed to become a more loving, devoted servant of Christ. I am still the same funny, witty, kind of cocky, loving person, but now with the true love of Christ towards all of the fellow people around me.
This week I also learned the power of fasting. We fasted this Sunday for fast Sunday and we received the miracles for it. We had 2 people who aren't members or investigators come to church, feel the spirit, and tell us they have the desire to be baptized. We will see what happens with them, but the blessing of having the opportunity to teach someone who has the desire to be baptized was by far worth the fast. I know that we will receive the blessings of heaven if we fast and follow the commandments of God.
This week not many physical things happened, not much changed, but I changed. I changed and started to become the person that God wants me to be. I changed and began to develop the attributes of Christ. I changed and began to become the missionary God wants me to be.
I know that problems will come, but we need them to grow. They may be hard, difficult, and quizas (maybe) nearly impossible, but God will always provide a way, and will change you on the way, to become the person you need to be.
I love you all so much, and I hope that you are all staying golden, and becoming even more golden.